Daughter Faces Privacy Strain from Widowed Mother's Financial Inquiries

A woman in her 50s writes to Dear Abby expressing discomfort with her widowed mother’s persistent questioning about her and her husband's income, despite their financial independence and long marriage without borrowing money. The mother claims that knowing their finances is a way to feel close, but the woman feels this is a private matter and that her mother is crossing a boundary. To avoid confrontation, she fabricates income numbers, but Abby advises that lying was a mistake and suggests involving the husband in addressing the issue directly with the mother. Abby characterizes the mother's behavior as emotional blackmail and recommends that future conversations about finances should include both spouses, with the husband questioning the need for such intrusive inquiries. The advice emphasizes maintaining privacy while setting clear boundaries to preserve the mother-daughter relationship without compromising their financial confidentiality.