Gottman Reveals Contempt's Role in Divorce Predictability

Psychologist Dr. John Gottman, renowned for his research on relationships, identifies contempt as the most destructive factor and strongest predictor of divorce, surpassing other toxic behaviors such as criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Contempt, which can manifest as sarcasm, eye-rolling, or a one-sided mouth raise, erodes emotional connection and, if left unaddressed, festers and grows, making reconciliation difficult. Experts recommend directly addressing contempt to diffuse it before it undermines the partnership further. In contrast, another study highlights that cultural values, particularly the emphasis on individual autonomy versus social embeddedness, also play a significant role in divorce rates, with more individualistic cultures reporting higher divorce rates. Additionally, divorce lawyers note that seemingly minor irritations and unspoken frustrations, rather than major events, often accumulate and eventually drive couples to separate. This underlines the importance of communication and proactive conflict resolution in maintaining healthy relationships.